Uncharted
by harley ready
Summary: One the way home from work one night Emily is raped and soon after she finds out shes pregnant. Shes scared to tell anyone what happened especially her husband but how can she keep something like this from him?
1. A tough night

**Authors Notes:** so this kind of came to me in heath class. some of it was i bit hard to right because I'm 14 so i had to do a lot of research. I honestly don't know anyone who has gone threw anything like this I'm only going on what i read and saw on TV! But I hope you like please read and review!

**Thanks to:** music4life1202 for being my beta reader!

**I change Emily and Derek ages a bit so that this fit a bit better:** Emily is 29 and Derek is 31

* * *

The temperature of his skin was cold as ice. Her heart was racing as a tear dripped down her pale dry cheek, staining the dark pavement. The weight of his body was suffocating, pinning her against the rough brick ally wall. She began to shake as he threw himself onto her, crushing her chest. He slowly reached down and slipped off her panties. She screamed out for help once again, but no one came. She tried to close her eyes, to zone him out and go to a better place, but the silence only reminded her of what was happening.

* * *

Two hours earlier…

Emily's eyes were fluttering closed as she finished the last of her seemingly endless paper work. She had had a hard day, a case that didn't end the way any of them would have hoped. Many cases had been ending on bad notes lately. As she began to drift off, a pair of strong warm hands grasped her shoulders and neck. She craned her head slightly, catching the gaze of her husband. A small smile formed in the corner of her mouth. "Hey!" she said as he slowly began to massage her back.

"Hey beautiful." he whispered in her ear then he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Screw the paper work babe. Let's go home and try again."

She bit her lip then let out a sigh. "I'm tired of trying over and over again. Why can't we just wait and see what happens?"

"Em, if you're already pregnant, it won't hurt the baby, and if you aren't, then we're increasing our chances. It's a win win situation!"

"Yeah, for you." she joked with a smile, then she turned her attention back the stack of files that were still piled on her desk. He w rapped his arm around her, hugging her tight as he kissed the back of her neck. "Stop it, no means NO! I'm cranky tired and extremely hormonal, so back off before I do something that I regret." She hissed as he let go of her cautiously and slowly stepped away.

"Okay sorry. I'm going, though, so you'll need to catch a ride with JJ. See you later and I love you." he said as he quickly kissed her cheek and ran out the door before she ripped his head off in anger.

Once he was gone, a smile tickled the corner of her mouth "I love you too."

* * *

JJ and Emily had left and were almost at Emily's when she decided she was going to try and talk. "Hey Em?" she asked, for she wanted to break the silence and tension between them.

"Yeah?" she answered, staring out the window, watching the passing houses and buildings as the car came to a stop.

"How's the whole baby thing going?" JJ questioned, even though she knew it would be a touchy subject.

Emily opened the door and stood, leaning against the door frame. "Oh I don't know any more, JJ; I mean Derek's super keen, but sometimes I think he's only wants this because of all the sex. Now I'm injecting hormones, I keep telling myself it's worth it, but I don't know." she said, shaking her head. She was tired of all the needles and she was getting fed up with the sex. She never thought she would ever be tired of sex.

"Oh come on. You've wanted kids since forever. Don't give up now." She knew that Emily would do anything for a baby of her own. And after losing the first one, she never looked at kids the same way again. She would almost cry every time she began to think about the little girl or boy that she didn't ever get to hold or really love.

"I don't know if it worth the work anymore. I've miscarried four times. We're better off adopting or paying someone to do it for us." she said. Emily always doubted herself after she lost their second child and she didn't understand why everyone wanted her to keep trying. It was just more painful each time she finally got pregnant and the baby didn't make it. It ripped and tore her heart into thousands of pieces. "I'm gonna go before I break down in front of you." she whispered as a tear dripped down her cold face. She respected herself far too much to show her emotion to anyone, even Derek.

She slowly stumbled down the side walk as salty tears poured from her eyes, blurring her vision. Her hands were cold and dry as she rubbed them together then blew softly onto them. The sound of a heavy metal garbage can startled her. Emily turned her attention quickly to the dark alley as she passed by. She stopped for a second and watched as a tiny black and white cat climbed his way free from behind a mountain of trash. Her eyes caught a figure lurking in her shadows. Someone moved in the back of the filthy alley and for a moment she felt as if she were being watched. A cold arm wrapped around her chest, followed by a sweaty palm that covered her mouth, impairing her speech.

"Let go of me!" she tried to yell, but no words escaped, only the muffled sound of her cries.

He pushed her to the end of the dark alley, a dirty pitch back corner where they could have some privacy and threw her limp body to the ground. She tried to kick her way free from his grasp, but she stopped when she noticed the glow. Only his white empty eyes were visible in the dimness of nightfall.

The temperature of his skin was cold as ice. Her heart was racing as a tear dripped down her pale dry cheek, staining the dark pavement. The weight of his body was suffocating, pinning her against the rough, brick ally wall. She began to shake as he threw himself onto her, crushing her chest. He slowly reached down and slipped off her panties. She screamed out for help once again, but no one came. She tried to close her eyes, to zone him out and go to a better place, but the silence only reminded her of what was happening.

As he crushed her for the last time, she reached for her gun and stuffed it between her chest and his and before she knew it, she had pulled the trigger and his dead, blood- spilling body lay on top of her. She didn't know what to do, who to call or who to turn to. She was horrified that that disgusting filthy monster was minuets ago, inside her, treating her very survival. Her heart throbbed in sadness and she wept from the depths of her sole. For once in her life, she didn't know what to do now. She was scared, a feeling she never experienced.

After she calmed herself enough to think straight, she found a pay phone and dialed 911. The police showed up within seconds and she became overwhelmed by their presence. Emily had not told them what happened and before they arrived, she re-clothed him and pulled his body out of the alley so they would not find out that she had been raped.

One of the police officers tried to comfort Emily and eventually, they were able to wrap her in a blanket and sit her on the tail gate of the ambulance. She was staring off into the distance as the paramedic cleaned the scrapes and cuts that covered her battered body. As she sat there, the police officer asked for her statement.

"So Emily you were walking home and…"

"And he blitzed me. He kicked me around and in self-defense, I shot him." Her voice shook as she answered. She lied; she couldn't tell anyone that she was raped. She was devastated that she couldn't have her husband find out what happened.

"Can I call anyone for you Emily?" the cop asked as she put her notebook back in her pocket.

"My husband, he should be home"

* * *

He rushed over to her and brushed her bangs off her face. He could still see the salty tear stains on her cheeks and the redness in her eyes. "Emily, talk to me." Morgan said and put his hand on her arm, a calming gesture she had grown to like.

"Can you... can you just hold me?" she asked as another flood of tears began to fall again. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry. She would never talk to him about it, but for once, she wasn't afraid to cry in his presence. She didn't know if she would ever be able to share what happened tonight, but what she did know is that she never wanted him to let go.

* * *

**N\A should i keep writing? I know it's only a start but next chapter in going to be very interesting but that's all I can tell you until its up! P****lease leave a review and tell me what you liked or didn't like!**


	2. I'll hold your hand through it all

**Authors notes:** Finally, I finished this chapter! I'm so excited about it too. I'm sorry it took so long, I have like atleaset five and a half hours of soccer everyday so I'm just a bit busy:) hahaha! I really hope you like the new chapter so please read and review!

**Beta:** music4life1202

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Criminal Minds but i REALLY wish i did!

* * *

It had been a month since Emily was attacked and she had still had told no one the true events of that night. It was eating her up inside, keeping the secret, but she felt disgusted with herself. And since then, not one person, not even Derek, could touch her without her becoming terrified and then trying to fight her way free. The awful memories that had made imprints in her mind would cause her to cry herself to sleep every night; she would then wake up screaming and shaking in fear. When this happened, Derek would try to comfort her, but if he were to get to close, she would just panic and pull away. It hurt him so much to see the person he loves, someone so strong, in so much emotional pain. He couldn't be intimate with her and it was ruining their close knit relationship.

JJ rushed into the bullpen with a large stack of files piled in her arms. "

We have a new one!" she yelled catching everyone's attention. They all rose from their seats at once and emptied the room to get up to date on their new case. Sneaking a glance at Emily's desk, Morgan noticed something wasn't right. He hadn't seen her in over an hour.

As he entered the conference room, he stopped beside JJ. "Can you go check on Emily for me?" he asked.

She looked up from her files in confusion then grabbed his shit by the neck and pulled him into the hall. "What do you mean check on her? Where is she?"

"I don't know. Have you seen her?"

"I saw her going into the washroom, but that was over an hour ago."

"That's why I need you to go check on her." He said as he gave her the order, then disappeared into the conference room.

* * *

"Emily? Hey Em you in here?" JJ called.

As she listened closely she could hear quiet sniffles. She walked through the washroom, pushing lightly on each stall door to see which ones were open and if they were empty. As she approached the last stall, the sound of violent vomiting echoed from through the hole between the seaming and the floor. She could see the tips of Emily's high heels peeking out from under the door. She knelt down over the toilet as another waves a nausea hit her. As soon as she was done throwing up, JJ knocked on the door.

"You okay?" she asked concernedly as Emily slowly opened the stall with a sigh. Tears stained her cheeks and there were dark bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. Her walking was anything but fast and she had to stop numerous times because she was becoming motion sick. When she finally made it to the sink with help from JJ for balance she leant over and stared blankly at her pale complexion.

"I heard there was a bug going around." JJ spoke.

Emily gave JJ an annoyed look followed by a snotty eye roll. "Jayje, it's not a bug."

JJ's expression was of confusion as Emily run for the toilet again. Then she figured it out. "Oh my gosh! Congratulations Em!"

Emily stood up slowly and flushed her stomach contents down the toilet and slumped down against the wall. The frown on her face made JJ wonder if she was wrong. "Why aren't you happy? I thought you wanted a baby."

"I do… just not this one."

"What so bad about this one?" The last thing JJ ever imagined Emily Prentiss to say was she didn't want a baby. Ever since JJ can remember, Emily had always wished to be a mother. _Why would she not want it?_ She thought as she watched her friend guiltily look down at her feet and bite down hard on her bottom lip.

"It's not Derek's." Emily whispered under her breath then her expression went cold and lifeless. JJ didn't understand, as if her brain was short-circuited and needed to be rebooted.

"EMILY! How could you do that to him… he loves you!" she snapped.

"I didn't cheat on him JJ…I…Ummm….I was..."she stuttered as it pained her to utter the word.

"You were what?" JJ was scared of where their conversation was going. She had a feeling that she already knew what happened, but could not believe that someone as strong as Emily would be victim to such a heinous crime.

"The guy, in the ally last month… he umm…raped me. I tried really hard to forget but…how do I forget when the bastard got me pregnant?" her lip trembled. She felt it was her fault, that she could have stopped it from happening.

"Does Derek know?" JJ questioned as she watched tears pour from her friends eyes. It broke her heart to see someone so strong fall apart.

"NO! I can't tell him." She freaked.

"So what are you going to do? You could always…you know… just not have it." JJ stuttered as she spoke. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to help her friend; she was too stunned by everything.

"Yeah…I guess." That last thing she wanted was to abort another baby, Emily couldn't face the fact that some monsters fetus was growing inside of her. But right now she was scared; she felt it was her only option.

* * *

The entire case, she was distracted and everyone could tell. So when they got home, and Derek could get close enough to her without her running away he asked…

"What's wrong, Emily?" he whispered as he pulled her against his chest. She, however, wiggled around until he let go.

"Oh, Derek," she sobbed, as he wrapped his arm around her torso. Guiding her over to the couch he pushed her down on it and settled beside her. She tried to get up and walk away, but he grabbed her hand. He expected her to freak, but she did the most unexpected thing. The moment he was next to her, she curled into his shoulder and sobbed violently.

"I'm sorry," she choked out as tears poured onto his shirt.

"Sorry for what?" he soothed as he patted his hand down the back of her head.

"I have to tell you something, and you'll h-h-hate me," she cried. Reaching out, he tilted her face so she was looking into his eyes.

"I. Could. Never. Hate. You. I love you, no matter what," he promised. Emily opened her mouth, preparing to speak, but closed it just as quickly. "You can tell me anything," Derek reassured her. Taking a deep breath Emily began.

"You remember how I wasn't feeling very well the last few days?"

"Yeah," he answered. He'd been trying to get her to go to the doctor, but she was headstrong and refused.

"Well I took a test." The silence hung between them. Fresh tears filled her eyes and tracked down her cheeks.

"What is it, Em?" Derek choked out. He was terrified that something was horribly wrong with his wife and that he'd lose her before he could enjoy having her.

"I'm pregnant, Derek," she whispered. A shocked look came over the dark-skinned man's face and he stared into her wide eyes.

"You're pregnant?" he asked in awe. Emily nodded as she cried harder. "Why are you crying, Em? This is a good thing; we're going to have a baby. We've been trying so hard for this" he vowed.

"I'm four weeks along. I'm due in late November or Early December," she explained. After doing some quick math of what Emily was telling him, it clicked in Derek's brain. Emily watched the play of emotions on her husband's face and she shrank back when she saw the realization hit him.

"So it's not mine. It's the guy, from the ally?" Derek asked with tenderness.

"How did you know? " Emily questioned.

"Don't think that I didn't notice." He answered. She nodded, too upset to speak. "It may not be mine biologically, but he's a monster. He hurt you." He broke off.

"I don't want it though. I don't want to have anyone else, let alone his baby." She whimpered.

"Well, whatever you choose to do, I will be there for you." Derek said as he hugged her tight.

"You don't hate me?" Emily asked incredulously.

"I don't hate you, I love you. I want a family with you, but if you don't think that you can take care of this child, knowing that it's father hurt you, fine. I will hold your hand every step of the way." With a happy cry Emily launched herself at him. This was one of the first intimate moments they had had in months and to both of them, it felt good.

"I love you, Derek Morgan," she breathed against his lips.

"I love you too, Emily Prentiss-Morgan." He answered.

* * *

**N/A should I keep writing?**

**Please reveiw! thanks**


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